https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11HigmoLcnM
[00:00:00] [Music]
[00:00:07] hi i'm dr romini and you can watch my
[00:00:10] series on avoidant personality disorder
[00:00:13] by hitting those links below
[00:00:16] i'm here to talk about
[00:00:18] signs of an avoidant personality style
[00:00:21] now avoidant personality in some ways
[00:00:24] can be thought of as a much more
[00:00:26] pervasive consistent and potentially
[00:00:29] severe social anxiety
[00:00:32] people with avoidant personality and
[00:00:33] it's a sort of an unfortunately named
[00:00:36] personality style people with avoidant
[00:00:38] personality don't necessarily want to
[00:00:41] avoid people they actually value social
[00:00:43] interaction but they bring the social
[00:00:45] interactions bring up so much anxiety
[00:00:47] because there's a fear of criticism of
[00:00:50] being rejected of being embarrassed or
[00:00:52] humiliated or being sort of judged or
[00:00:55] disapproved by other people
[00:00:57] as a result one sign we see in people
[00:00:59] who have avoided personality is that
[00:01:01] they may avoid engaging in any kind of
[00:01:04] activity
[00:01:05] socially in the workplace meeting new
[00:01:07] people
[00:01:08] that carries that risk
[00:01:10] of of being criticized or rejected
[00:01:12] people with with avoidant personality
[00:01:15] styles aren't asocial they actually do
[00:01:18] socialize but they tend to socialize in
[00:01:20] very small groups so another sign we'll
[00:01:22] see is that it's not that the avoidant
[00:01:24] person doesn't socialize or doesn't have
[00:01:27] friends but they tend to keep a rather
[00:01:29] small and tight social group only
[00:01:32] staying within the social group within
[00:01:34] which they are familiar maybe friends
[00:01:36] they've had for a long time family
[00:01:38] members and there's a real reluctance
[00:01:40] and i should say fear of meeting new
[00:01:42] people because of that fear of criticism
[00:01:44] disapproval and rejection people who
[00:01:47] have avoided personality also hold back
[00:01:50] in intimate relationships so they will
[00:01:52] be for example very afraid to share
[00:01:55] about themselves because they're afraid
[00:01:57] of being made fun of that what they're
[00:01:59] sharing will be humiliating or
[00:02:01] embarrassing so one sign we'd see is
[00:02:03] that a person who gets into a
[00:02:05] relationship with someone with an
[00:02:06] avoidant personality might find they're
[00:02:08] not learning a lot about this person or
[00:02:10] if anything the person with the avoidant
[00:02:12] personality may just sort of keep going
[00:02:14] along with whatever they say and agree
[00:02:16] and actually ask a lot about the other
[00:02:18] person but not share that much about
[00:02:21] themselves and what's driving that again
[00:02:23] is sort of that fear of being of being
[00:02:25] rejected people with avoidant
[00:02:27] personality also like any anxious person
[00:02:30] they kind of get stuck in a rumination
[00:02:32] and a preoccupation of being rejected so
[00:02:35] imagine a person with avoidant
[00:02:36] personality
[00:02:38] is about to go go to a bar with friends
[00:02:41] which would already be a stretch for
[00:02:43] them or go to a networking event there
[00:02:45] will be a lot of time spent even ahead
[00:02:47] of that ruminating about what's going to
[00:02:49] go wrong i don't want to say the wrong
[00:02:50] thing and even while in the event will
[00:02:52] very much be in their head about okay i
[00:02:55] got to compose my sentence i have to
[00:02:56] make eye contact i have to not say the
[00:02:58] wrong thing and there'll be so much
[00:03:00] anxiety in fact many people that avoid
[00:03:02] him personality will say
[00:03:03] my face will turn red i'll start
[00:03:05] sweating and they're just so afraid of
[00:03:08] being ridiculed or rejected in any kind
[00:03:10] of social setting and another sign we
[00:03:13] see is that people who have avoidant
[00:03:15] personalities are very inhibited when
[00:03:17] they get into a new social situation so
[00:03:20] they'll be very quiet they may sort of
[00:03:22] stay be you know sort of stay stand back
[00:03:24] they may sort of you know kind of
[00:03:27] nod and smile and go along
[00:03:30] and in this way there's sometimes a
[00:03:31] vulnerability for people who have
[00:03:33] avoided personality styles similar to
[00:03:35] what we see in people who are socially
[00:03:36] anxious that in social situations there
[00:03:39] may be a propensity or a risk for
[00:03:41] example for wanting to drink so that
[00:03:43] they feel more socially disinhibited
[00:03:45] because their natural tendency is to be
[00:03:48] quite inhibited in those situations and
[00:03:50] in those settings a person with avoidant
[00:03:53] personality let me tell you this right
[00:03:54] now they ain't gonna do karaoke because
[00:03:57] there's no
[00:03:58] there's
[00:03:59] very it's very uncomfortable for a
[00:04:01] person with an avoidant personality to
[00:04:03] think about doing something where they
[00:04:05] may embarrass themselves like doing
[00:04:07] karaoke or doing something like that's
[00:04:09] in front of other people where they may
[00:04:11] embarrass themselves or they think
[00:04:13] they'll look silly even though they
[00:04:14] won't they'd be very reluctant for
[00:04:16] example maybe to give a toast or a
[00:04:18] speech at a wedding or other social
[00:04:20] event with the fear being not that they
[00:04:22] think that they don't have anything to
[00:04:23] say
[00:04:24] but that they will be made fun of and
[00:04:27] that they will embarrass themselves
[00:04:30] there's a risk for people with avoidant
[00:04:32] personality in some ways because again a
[00:04:34] person with avoidant personality is not
[00:04:36] disinterested in social relationships
[00:04:38] they're actually interested they do want
[00:04:40] to meet people they do want to be with
[00:04:41] people the anxiety and the rumination
[00:04:45] about looking foolish or hum becoming
[00:04:47] humiliated or criticized or embarrassed
[00:04:49] inhibits them but there's a risk that
[00:04:51] they'll sort of give in in a close
[00:04:54] personal relationship several years ago
[00:04:56] in in my research lab we had done some
[00:04:58] research and one thing we found for
[00:04:59] example is that people with avoidant
[00:05:01] personality styles were more likely to
[00:05:04] engage in sexual practices that were
[00:05:06] more unsafe you know not protecting
[00:05:08] themselves with new partners and it was
[00:05:10] very interesting to us because we
[00:05:11] thought that we'd see that with more
[00:05:13] dysregulated personality styles but one
[00:05:15] thing that seemed to be happening was
[00:05:17] folks with avoidant personalities would
[00:05:19] simply give in and not even advocate for
[00:05:22] themselves because they wanted they
[00:05:24] wanted to be in something but they
[00:05:25] didn't want to say something in a
[00:05:26] situation for fear of being criticized
[00:05:28] or embarrassed so there's a potential
[00:05:30] risk in that but there's also for a
[00:05:32] person with an avoidant personality
[00:05:34] there can be so many lost opportunities
[00:05:36] there's a person may be very very
[00:05:38] capable but may hold off on for example
[00:05:41] advocating from themselves in the
[00:05:42] workplace or putting themselves up for a
[00:05:45] promotion of some kind especially if
[00:05:47] that promotion may require them to be
[00:05:50] more heavily scrutinized so there's a
[00:05:52] risk for people with avoidant
[00:05:53] personalities to get stuck in situations
[00:05:57] that probably aren't at the level of
[00:05:58] their actual abilities because the
[00:06:00] anxiety and the fear of criticism and
[00:06:03] all of that holds them back so when i've
[00:06:05] seen avoidant personality styles in my
[00:06:07] practice it's always a little bit
[00:06:09] difficult to discern with whether i'm
[00:06:11] dealing with a social anxiety or an
[00:06:13] avoidant personality and in some ways
[00:06:15] i've got to be honest with you it
[00:06:16] doesn't really matter the approach is
[00:06:18] sort of similar it's really with
[00:06:20] avoidant personality styles it's much
[00:06:21] more consistent and it's really about
[00:06:24] doing sort of successive approximations
[00:06:26] using cognitive behavioral techniques to
[00:06:28] sort of help the person have a more
[00:06:31] realistic appraisal of what's happening
[00:06:33] in a social situation and then start
[00:06:36] taking small like little baby steps in
[00:06:38] terms of social risks that a person will
[00:06:40] take paying attention to how they feel
[00:06:42] in their body take you know and then in
[00:06:45] almost journaling about it and then
[00:06:46] talking about it in therapy and then
[00:06:48] leveling up but one thing we also want
[00:06:50] to keep in mind too is that when we look
[00:06:52] at any personality style
[00:06:54] we'd want to know what came before it
[00:06:56] and sometimes people who have avoidant
[00:06:57] personality styles we may sometimes see
[00:07:00] childhoods where there might have been
[00:07:01] bullying trauma or even sort of shame or
[00:07:04] humiliation used as a tool of sort of
[00:07:07] discipline and control in the family
[00:07:09] they grew up in so part of the
[00:07:10] therapeutic work also becomes about sort
[00:07:13] of them understanding how those patterns
[00:07:15] are still affecting them as adults
[00:07:17] hi i'm dr romini and you can watch my
[00:07:20] series on avoidant personality disorder
[00:07:23] by hitting those links below
[00:07:26] [Music]
[00:07:31] thanks for watching check out the links
[00:07:33] below for more information on how to
[00:07:35] access this full series and subscribe to
[00:07:37] our youtube channel to watch new mental
[00:07:39] health videos every week did you like
[00:07:41] what you heard in this video if you want
[00:07:43] to ask a med circle doctor a question
[00:07:45] directly you can learn how by visiting
[00:07:48] the links in the description below
1. 공부하면 좋은 표현 100개
영상에 나온 표현들을 활용하여 학습에 도움이 되는 100가지 문장과 구문을 정리해 보았습니다.
- a more pervasive, consistent and potentially severe social anxiety: 보다 만연하고, 지속적이며 잠재적으로 심각한 사회 불안
- be thought of as ~: ~라고 생각될 수 있다
- an unfortunately named personality style: 불행히도 이름이 좋지 않은 성격 유형
- don't necessarily want to avoid people: 반드시 사람들을 피하고 싶어 하는 것은 아니다
- value social interaction: 사회적 교류를 소중히 여긴다
- bring up so much anxiety: 많은 불안을 야기하다
- fear of criticism: 비난에 대한 두려움
- fear of being rejected: 거절당하는 것에 대한 두려움
- fear of being embarrassed or humiliated: 당황하거나 굴욕을 느끼는 것에 대한 두려움
- be judged or disapproved by other people: 다른 사람들에게 판단되거나 인정받지 못하다
- as a result: 결과적으로
- one sign we see: 우리가 보는 한 가지 신호
- avoid engaging in any kind of activity: 어떤 종류의 활동에도 참여하는 것을 피하다
- in the workplace: 직장에서
- carries that risk: 그러한 위험을 수반한다
- people aren't asocial: 사람들은 비사회적이지 않다
- tend to socialize in very small groups: 매우 작은 그룹에서 어울리는 경향이 있다
- keep a rather small and tight social group: 상당히 작고 끈끈한 사교 그룹을 유지하다
- staying within the social group: 사교 그룹 내에 머무르다
- within which they are familiar: 그들이 익숙한 범위 내에서
- a real reluctance: 진정한 꺼림
- a real fear of meeting new people: 새로운 사람들을 만나는 것에 대한 진정한 두려움
- hold back in intimate relationships: 친밀한 관계에서 스스로를 억제하다
- be very afraid to share about themselves: 자신에 대해 이야기하는 것을 매우 두려워하다
- be made fun of: 조롱당하다
- what they're sharing will be humiliating or embarrassing: 그들이 공유하는 것이 굴욕적이거나 당황스러울 것이다
- a person might find ~: 어떤 사람은 ~을 발견할 수도 있다
- not learning a lot about this person: 이 사람에 대해 많이 알지 못하다
- keep going along with whatever they say: 그들이 말하는 대로 계속 따라가다
- ask a lot about the other person: 다른 사람에 대해 많이 물어보다
- not share that much about themselves: 자신에 대해 그렇게 많이 공유하지 않다
- what's driving that is ~: 그것을 이끄는 것은 ~이다
- get stuck in a rumination and a preoccupation of being rejected: 거절당하는 것에 대한 반추와 선입견에 갇히다
- go to a networking event: 네트워킹 행사에 가다
- a lot of time spent even ahead of that: 심지어 그 전에도 많은 시간을 보내다
- ruminating about what's going to go wrong: 무엇이 잘못될지에 대해 반추하다
- i don't want to say the wrong thing: 잘못된 말을 하고 싶지 않다
- be in their head about ~: ~에 대해 골몰하다
- have to compose my sentence: 내 문장을 구성해야 한다
- have to make eye contact: 눈을 마주쳐야 한다
- have to not say the wrong thing: 잘못된 말을 하지 않아야 한다
- there'll be so much anxiety: 너무 많은 불안이 있을 것이다
- my face will turn red: 내 얼굴이 빨개질 것이다
- i'll start sweating: 땀을 흘리기 시작할 것이다
- be afraid of being ridiculed or rejected: 조롱당하거나 거절당하는 것을 두려워하다
- in any kind of social setting: 어떤 종류의 사회적 환경에서도
- be very inhibited: 매우 억제되다
- get into a new social situation: 새로운 사회적 상황에 처하다
- stay back: 뒤로 물러서다
- nod and smile: 고개를 끄덕이고 미소 짓다
- go along: 따라가다
- there's a vulnerability: 취약성이 있다
- a propensity or a risk for ~: ~에 대한 성향 또는 위험
- wanting to drink: 술을 마시고 싶어 하다
- feel more socially disinhibited: 사회적으로 더 억제되지 않는다고 느끼다
- their natural tendency: 그들의 타고난 경향
- be quite inhibited: 꽤 억제되다
- they ain't gonna do karaoke: 그들은 노래방에 가지 않을 것이다
- it's very uncomfortable for a person: 어떤 사람에게는 매우 불편하다
- think about doing something where they may embarrass themselves: 스스로를 당황하게 할 수도 있는 어떤 일을 하는 것에 대해 생각하다
- look silly: 우스꽝스러워 보이다
- be very reluctant to give a toast or a speech: 축배나 연설을 하는 것을 매우 꺼려하다
- a person who has avoided personality: 회피성 성격을 가진 사람
- be not disinterested in social relationships: 사회적 관계에 무관심하지 않다
- be actually interested: 실제로 관심이 있다
- want to meet people: 사람들을 만나고 싶어 하다
- want to be with people: 사람들과 함께 있고 싶어 하다
- the anxiety and the rumination about looking foolish: 바보같이 보이는 것에 대한 불안과 반추
- becoming humiliated or criticized or embarrassed: 굴욕적이거나 비난받거나 당황하게 되다
- inhibit them: 그들을 억제하다
- give in in a close personal relationship: 친밀한 개인적 관계에서 굴복하다
- engage in sexual practices that were more unsafe: 더 안전하지 않은 성적 행위에 참여하다
- not protecting themselves with new partners: 새로운 파트너와 자신을 보호하지 않다
- more dysregulated personality styles: 더 조절되지 않는 성격 유형
- simply give in and not even advocate for themselves: 단순히 굴복하고 자신을 옹호하지도 않다
- wanted to be in something: 무언가에 참여하고 싶었다
- for fear of being criticized or embarrassed: 비난받거나 당황할까 봐 두려워서
- so many lost opportunities: 너무나 많은 놓친 기회
- a person may be very, very capable: 어떤 사람은 매우, 매우 유능할 수 있다
- hold off on advocating from themselves in the workplace: 직장에서 자신을 옹호하는 것을 미루다
- putting themselves up for a promotion of some kind: 어떤 종류의 승진에 자신을 내세우다
- be more heavily scrutinized: 더 철저하게 조사받다
- get stuck in situations: 상황에 갇히다
- at the level of their actual abilities: 그들의 실제 능력 수준에 맞춰
- the anxiety and the fear of criticism hold them back: 불안과 비난에 대한 두려움이 그들을 방해하다
- it's always a little bit difficult to discern: 구별하기가 항상 조금 어렵다
- dealing with a social anxiety or an avoidant personality: 사회 불안 또는 회피성 성격을 다루는 것
- it doesn't really matter: 그것은 별로 중요하지 않다
- the approach is similar: 접근 방식은 비슷하다
- successive approximations: 점진적 접근
- using cognitive behavioral techniques: 인지 행동 기법을 사용하다
- have a more realistic appraisal of what's happening: 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 대해 더 현실적으로 평가하다
- start taking small like little baby steps in terms of social risks: 사회적 위험 측면에서 작은 아기 걸음을 시작하다
- paying attention to how they feel in their body: 그들의 몸이 어떻게 느끼는지에 주의를 기울이다
- journaling about it: 그것에 대해 일기를 쓰다
- leveling up: 발전하다
- what came before it: 그 이전에 무엇이 있었는지
- there might have been bullying or trauma: 괴롭힘이나 트라우마가 있었을 수도 있다
- shame or humiliation used as a tool of discipline and control: 수치심이나 굴욕감이 훈육과 통제의 도구로 사용되다
- understanding how those patterns are still affecting them as adults: 그 패턴들이 어떻게 여전히 성인인 그들에게 영향을 미치는지 이해하다
2. 통째로 외우면 영어 활용에 도움되는 문장 20개
실용적인 문법 구조와 높은 활용도를 고려하여 20개의 핵심 문장을 엄선했습니다. 이 문장들은 일상 대화나 글쓰기에서 바로 활용하기 좋습니다.
- People with avoidant personality don't necessarily want to avoid people. (반드시 ~하는 것은 아니다: not necessarily 구조)
- They bring up so much anxiety because there's a fear of criticism. (많은 불안을 야기하다: bring up 표현)
- They may avoid engaging in any kind of activity that carries that risk. (위험을 수반하는 활동에 참여하는 것을 피하다: avoid -ing 구조)
- They tend to socialize in very small groups. (~하는 경향이 있다: tend to 구조)
- There's a real reluctance and a real fear of meeting new people. (진정한 꺼림과 두려움이 있다: real을 활용한 강조)
- People with avoidant personality hold back in intimate relationships. (관계에서 스스로를 억제하다: hold back 구동사)
- A person might find they're not learning a lot about this person. (~를 알게 될 수도 있다: find와 might를 활용한 가능성 표현)
- They may just sort of keep going along with whatever they say. (그냥 ~하는 대로 따라가다: keep going along with 표현)
- What's driving that again is sort of that fear of being rejected. (그것의 원동력은 ~이다: what's driving that 문장 구조)
- They kind of get stuck in a rumination and a preoccupation of being rejected. (거절에 대한 생각에 갇히다: get stuck in 표현)
- There will be a lot of time spent even ahead of that ruminating about what's going to go wrong. (무엇이 잘못될지에 대해 생각하는 데 많은 시간을 쓰다: spend time -ing 구조)
- They would be very reluctant for example maybe to give a toast or a speech. (예를 들어 축배나 연설을 하는 것을 매우 꺼려할 것이다: be reluctant to 표현)
- They are not disinterested in social relationships; they're actually interested. (~에 무관심하지 않다, 오히려 관심이 있다: not disinterested와 actually interested를 사용한 대조)
- There's a risk that they'll sort of give in in a close personal relationship. (친밀한 관계에서 굴복할 위험이 있다: give in 구동사)
- They were more likely to engage in sexual practices that were more unsafe. (~할 가능성이 더 높다: more likely to 구조)
- They would simply give in and not even advocate for themselves. (그냥 굴복하고 자신을 옹호하지도 않다: not even을 활용한 강조)
- A person may hold off on for example advocating for themselves in the workplace. (직장에서 자신을 옹호하는 것을 미루다: hold off on -ing 표현)
- It's a little bit difficult to discern whether I'm dealing with social anxiety or an avoidant personality. (구별하기가 조금 어렵다: a little bit difficult 표현)
- We want to keep in mind that when we look at any personality style, we want to know what came before it. (명심하고 싶다: keep in mind 표현)
- The therapeutic work also becomes about them understanding how those patterns are still affecting them as adults. (치료 작업은 ~을 이해하는 것이기도 하다: become about -ing 구조)
3. 회피성 성격(Avoidant Personality)의 주요 특징
이들은 단순히 사람을 피하는 것이 아니라, 비난이나 거절, 굴욕을 극도로 두려워하기 때문에 사회적 교류에서 오는 불안을 견디기 힘들어합니다.
- 사회적 회피: 비난받을 위험이 있는 사회적 활동이나 새로운 사람을 만나는 것을 피합니다.
- 제한된 관계: 친구가 없지는 않지만, 오랫동안 알고 지낸 소수의 사람들과만 어울립니다.
- 친밀감 결여: 친밀한 관계에서도 자신을 드러내기를 꺼려하고, 상대방의 말에 동조하기만 하며 자신에 대한 이야기는 잘 하지 않습니다.
- 과도한 불안감: 사회적 상황에 가기 전부터 '무슨 잘못을 할까'라고 끊임없이 생각하고, 실제 상황에서는 얼굴이 빨개지거나 땀을 흘리는 등 신체적 불안 증상을 보입니다.
- 기회 상실: 유능하더라도 승진이나 자기 주장 등 자신을 드러내야 하는 상황을 피하기 때문에 능력에 맞는 인정을 받지 못할 수 있습니다.
- 취약한 자기 주장: 관계에서 비난받을까 봐 두려워 자기 자신을 옹호하지 못하고 상대에게 굴복하는 경향이 있습니다.
이 성격 유형이 어린 시절의 괴롭힘, 수치심, 굴욕감에서 비롯되었을 수 있으며, 치료법으로 인지 행동 치료와 같이 현실적인 사고와 점진적인 노출을 통한 불안감 극복을 제시합니다.
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